Summary of Trip and Continuum

Well alot of people ask me what was the purpose of my trip to Sydney. 

Simple answer = "To Think..."

Im not going to explain much about my whole life but i can say that this year has been a pretty tough year for me. 

This year many things happened. 

--> 1st time as a CiA leader

--> 3rd year Pharmacy ( the most intensive year with 6 subjects each sem and 7 exams)

--> Dealing with personal issues

--> Serious Stress from exams, assignments, etc workload in general

--> Losing the passion for serving cuz i thought it was all too much

... [more]

I think this year has been interesting in the sense that throughout the year i've been trying to find my anchor... I liken my life as a sail boat just going wherever the tides of the world takes it. Always been unsure of what is happening and all. Eventually this leads to looking at alot of things in a negative sense and always feeling down, lonely and all. 

Now this anchor which i mentioned before I hoped to find during my trip to Sydney where i was away from everyone and Brisbane where i was involved in a lot of responsibilities. Some people call it running away from issues but what i thought was that it was a time for me to think... well that is what i told myself anyway. 

= TWO LESSONS FROM THE TRIP=

 

The trip actually taught me a few things. It taught me the joys of being an individual and being single. The joy of going to places and exploring, something i enjoy finding out where alleyways, paths and long stretches of roads go. For the whole trip i had plans to visit certain people I wanted to see them alot actually but as it turned out this was not possible. Which i knew already... yet i still ignore the warnings. This taught me that things are not necessarily always turn out the way i want but what God wants. 

But to tell the truth i felt that my issues had not be solved. I had not found the answer that i was looking for. I was still feeling down and occassionally depressed. 

Then... 

The other day that i was driving around in Brisbane a thought occured to me. And for some reason i had this permanent smile on my face that i could not remove. I felt like the burden on my shoulders had been lifted off. I couldnt say that i am 100% cleared of all my problems and woes. But i can say its a great feeling. It feels like its been 5 years since ive ever felt this happy. 

Lying in bed last night i tried to understand what was the source of this happiness... Hours upon hours i was tossing and turning and thinking about it. I guess in life there are many things one does not understand but I have made a promise with myself ....

Today on the 17 December 08, I promise that i will remain pure in heart  for that special someone(A) for 1 year, ie 17 Dec 2009.